Nine Practices for Household Discipleship

Written by: Darren & Alex Rouanzoin
Date: March 3rd, 2021

We know that the last year has been incredibly challenging for all of us. We have each experienced Covid-19 and the disruptions to everyday life in unique ways. We have friends who have lost loved ones to the virus and are grieving deeply. Many have lost jobs, careers, and businesses and have put their dreams on hold to care for their families, as closed schools have kept kids at home. And though many of the changes that have come have been painful and difficult, we have also experienced some unexpected blessings and gifts.  

One of the unique gifts that this disruption has brought about for our family is a greater awareness and focus on discipleship in our household. As Christians, we are called to make disciples. As parents, we are called to pass on our faith to our children. We’ve always talked about how the household is the primary vehicle for discipleship, though at times have struggled to put it into daily practice. Yes, we’ve prayed before meals and read the Bible as a family, but something about this last year unlocked our role as disciple-makers for our kids more than any other time before. 

It seems as though parents have relied heavily on Sunday School, their Christian Private Schools, and Youth Group to disciple their kids into the faith. Christian parents love their children and desire for them to follow Jesus, but have lacked either the purpose or confidence to disciple their children. We have seen historically that leaving discipleship up to Christian groups does not produce a vibrant and long-lasting faith in children, this strategy is no longer working. As our children are sent into public schools these days, they face some incredibly challenging pressures to accommodate the culture, more so than has ever been experienced before this. From engagement in social media, owning devices at an early age, to time spent on YouTube and television, and other forms of social and digital immersion, children are being formed into the image of culture younger and younger. Once a week Sunday school with an occasional small group doesn't stand a chance when your child spends hours in a classroom with their peers or hours on a device with an unfiltered world at their fingertips. It’s a powerful and alluring world that surely does not share the values of Christ, nor cultivate healthy and thriving humans. 

We have seen that the stay-at-home orders and schools being shut have revealed the need for parents to live intentionally as disciple-makers. The task at hand for Christian parents is to create an environment for their children to flourish in their faith in Jesus. In our home during this time, we have created simple rituals, rhythms, and routines that our children participate in with us daily and weekly as disciplines for our family. We would like to share with you some of the habits we've formed over this last year.  

Nine Practices for Household Discipleship

1 .

Read Scripture Together

Each morning we eat breakfast together. We know mornings can be hectic, but starting the day together and with purpose has been so life-giving for us all. We sit around the table together every day, and we alternate reading Scripture and Bible Stories with memorizing Scripture. This time has been significant and beneficial for all of us. Our three and seven-year-old have been memorizing the Word and learning to apply it to their lives as they navigate emotions, friendships, and interactions with others.

2.

Worship Together

We worship 4-5 times a week as a family. We might put on a worship song and jump around dancing and singing in the living room to get our hearts centered on God, Alex might play the piano as we sing along, and sometimes the boys will grab a guitar or a drum to play along on Sunday mornings. We’ve chosen to model and practice uninhibited worship and adoration of God. It’s been especially powerful in moments of stress or tension to recenter our focus and hearts.

3.

Receive Communion Together

We have begun taking daily communion together. We purchased prepackaged wafers and grape juice cups, and we get them out, set them before us, and talk about what it means to follow Jesus and why we take communion. During that time, we regularly ask if there's anything we need to confess or ask for forgiveness for with God and each other. We’ve had some precious moments seeing our boys acknowledging sin or brokenness that has come out to our family and restoration and forgiveness between us. It all started because the two of us modeled the very things we hoped to see in them, confession, forgiveness, and restoration.

4.

Cultivate Gratitude

Another small thing we have done is to regularly cultivate gratitude by asking what the kids are grateful for through the day and at mealtimes. This is especially effective when any of us is feeling negative or complaining, or we just need a reset to be present and thankful together.

5.

Participate in Church Together

We participate in church together each week. This isn’t always easy and it’s a bit chaotic but we believe in the regular rhythm of church. We make this a priority. We put on the LiveStream, and we worship as a family, then take communion, and then we set the kids up in another room with the kid's church videos we have at the garden. Being filled by the word and being poured into each week in this unique way is essential. We love debriefing and asking questions and sharing what God spoke to us.

6.

We Love Our Neighbors Together

We spend time thinking about how we can serve our neighbors as a family. Most of the time, we have been praying for them to come to know Jesus and dropping off treats and meals. We've dropped off cookies, cake, cupcakes, and treats throughout the holiday season last year. We found out one of our neighbors was turning 82 years old, so we baked her the cake of her choice for her birthday, and our kids dropped off cards and drawings. Having eyes to see our neighbor's needs and showing God‘s love to them has been fun for all of us.

7.

We Practice Generosity Together

When we go about our everyday life, my kids have been trained to look for people who might be in need. Our seven-year-old, Ezra, regularly reminds us to bring cash to give money or buy food for people experiencing homelessness. Countless times we’ve had to borrow from him, as he's the one with the dollars in his wallet most of the time! We've also encouraged our kids as they received gifts and toys for birthdays and Christmas to give old toys they don't use anymore away to others. We dropped loads of gear off at New Life Beginnings this last year, knowing they are regularly in need.

8.

We Pray Together

We have spent a lot of time praying for our kids and praying with them. This last year has brought up many challenges for each of them in their own ways, and we have dedicated much of our night time and morning time without them awake to prayer. We cover them in prayer, lay hands on them and pray, anoint them with oil; we've written out prayers over their beds and taped up Scripture on their bed frames so they can read or remember who is holding them up when they are facing challenges.

9.

We’ve Practiced Hearing God’s Voice Together

We ask what God is speaking to them when we read the Bible, we spend time quietly listening and asking God what He wants to say. One fun game we play is asking, “If Jesus walked into the room what would he say to...” and we take turns going around the room to share the encouragements. We’ve done this for friends and write letters to them, and teach our kids to listen and take risks to share what God has said to them.

We must make it clear that we don't have it figured out by any means. We sin, get impatient, feel tired many days. And on those days we own our mess, apologize and ask for forgiveness. We are imperfect in every way but we are fully committed to doing the work to lead our family towards Jesus as we follow his way together. One thing we know is this, we won't rely on Sunday school to disciple our children. We won’t outsource training our children to follow Jesus. We won’t let the current of the world be more powerful than the good and beautiful life of walking with Jesus. Together we will do everything we can to create the environment necessary for our boys to learn to follow him with their whole lives, every day. 

We hope you will hear this invitation and be encouraged to take seriously the call to raise disciples as you parent the children in your home. If you are realizing that you’ve been passive in this season, now is the time to change direction and lead your family into following Jesus. Don't be overwhelmed by this list of what our family does, as these are all small things we started one at a time to build healthy and sustainable habits. Take one thing this week and apply it and see what happens, then grown and build your children into passionate Jesus followers!