Creating a Life Plan + Goals

Over the last few years, I’ve studied, experimented and worked on what it means to live a meaningful life.  I believe life doesn’t happen by accident. Some of the greatest moments in life can be accidental, coincidental, mistakes, wrong turns or even unexpected.  But, the majority of your life is found in the ordinary, every day, and mostly mundane experiences. This is where the meaningful life is developed.  When we look at the mountain top experiences as our primary place for meaning and purpose, we lose out on the beauty of God’s creation. We miss the millions of opportunities to build a healthy life-giving journey.  

Meaningful life takes time, takes intentionality and takes discipline. 

There are three parts to what I’m going to suggest. The first will be an honest assessment about who you are and who you want to be.  The second is an intentional life and family plan. A guide that will help you create a map for yourself and family. This will include things like a life verse, values and some foundational commitments that will help you navigate life year by year.  The third is goals. How to write goals and some ideas about ways to accomplish this goals year after year. Begin here by answering these questions: 

WHO ARE YOU BECOMING? + WHO DO YOU WANT TO BECOME?

These are the questions that frame the way I think about goal setting, life management, and New Year’s resolutions.  These two questions help to identify two essential elements.  “who you are becoming?” is a positive and challenging question.  Are there habits in your life that are shaping you to be someone you don’t want to be?  For example, for many years I would have described my life as “anxious.” I was full of anxiety.  Year after year I noticed I had “become more anxious!”  The question “who are you becoming” helped identify this characteristic and condition. It also helped identify the habits associated with my anxiety.  “Who do you want to become” helps frame the outcome and goal.   I wanted to have more peace in my life; I wanted to be a “non-anxious” presence.  Every year this was some “goal” in my life, and over time I made gradual progress. It’s noticeable and felt. I no longer have panic attacks, I no longer struggle with carrying unnecessary expectations in my life that produce greater worry, exhaustion, and anxiety. I have made incremental progress in becoming a person of peace. This has come as a result of little habits and disciplines.  I shut off notifications on my phone, I email off my phone and started scheduling a regular time to answer emails. I started practicing sabbath every week, I started working out and eating healthy. I practiced keeping my schedule and didn’t allow urgency or the expectations of others to guide my life and decision making.  These combined crafted a better life, a life of peace.  

Start with answering honestly, “Who are you becoming?” and than then move on to “Who do you want to become?”

The second question is the most powerful.  The answer to this question shapes the goals you set and the direction you head in year after year.  “Who do you want to become?”  This question will guide your decisions, this question will set you on your unique path.  If you write this question down, you will be forced to choose.  You will either have the courage to make the necessary changes day after day and fight to become the person you desire to be, or you will remain in the default settings handed to you over time and remain unchanged.   If you want to change where you must first acknowledge who you are and then work to become who you want to be.  The result of choosing to take on different habits is the key to a meaningful life.  It’s the key to accomplishing goals and becoming the you, you really want to be. This takes time, but on the other side is greater joy, peace, contentment, and happiness. Next, create a Life+Family Plan ( note: this life plan will not change much year to year, this will be a foundational guide that you will build your yearly goals around in the future). 

LIFE + FAMILY PLAN

1. Choose your Life Verse:  This is a verse that will guide your life.  Choose a verse that resonates and refocuses your energy and purpose.  Take your time deciding, this is something you will come back to year after year.

2. Decide on your Values:  Your values will shape decisions and goals in the future and how you accomplish the goals and activities in your life. Values should be the big, overarching themes and characteristics that you want in your life. What do you want your life to be known by? See examples of Values below. 

    My Values are to:

Love God and Love people well.

Live an obedient and generous life; centered around the Scriptures and Spirit, live out of compassion and hospitality, do life with meaningful relationships.

Lead people to the extravagant grace and generosity of God.

3. Set your Foundational Commitments: Foundational commitments are the “big rocks” in your life that should be scheduled first, fought for and regularly practiced.  These can be described as practices and habits that shape who you are becoming.  Similar to the values you live by, these are practical. What and Who are most important in your life? Foundational Commitments are the key to a meaningful life. See examples of Foundation Commitments below. 

    I will: 

        •         Practice Healthy Rhythms of Work, Rest and Health

        •    Regularly spend time with Alex, Ezra, family, and friends

        •    Sabbath weekly and have time off together with Alex and Ezra.

        •    Regularly show hospitality in our home 

        •    Regularly travel outside of my everyday context 

        •    Practice Generosity and Stewardship in all areas of my life

4. Identify and practice Replenishers: Replenishers are practices that refill your soul and reenergize you. What are the activities, people, places that give you life?  We often do things out of habit and out of obligation.  See examples of Replenishers below. 

        •    Work out 3-5 times a week

        •    Follow a Ritual + Prayer each morning

        •    Have regular date nights with my wife

        •    Spend time with core friends

        •    Take Regular time off with no work

        •    Have regular fun family experiences  

5. Finally, set your yearly goals: Yearly goals are things you hope to accomplish or become THIS year, that won’t roll over to the next year. The way I set out to write goals each year begins with the honest reflection on all of the previous work we’ve down above. Who are you becoming, Who do you want to become and what are your values. These questions guide the path to writing yearly goals.  I have found it helpful to think in categories and write descriptions for what each goal will look like in a year. See examples of yearly goals below. 

This year I will: 

        •    Work hard to receive a promotion at work by

        •    Limit my TV and Social Media Use by…

        •    Cut back on spending and save for X by…

        •    Go to counseling twice per month …

     Write a book proposal by June 2017.

     Eat healthy at every meal. 

To help shape and specify these goals, as yourself what accomplishing this goal would look like one year from now in my life? What do I need to do to get there? 

For me, in 2016 I had the goal to become a “non-anxious presence.” And looking ahead, I wrote this:   This will look like becoming present and aware of where I am, wherever I am. This will look like practicing meditation and developing greater emotional health.  One year from now I will be more centered, more patient and more truly Darren through experiencing freedom from core-behavior issues and learning to live in peace.

I also had goals for writing. One of my personal goals is to become a writer. 

Writers write.  So, in 2016, I had the goal of writing 75,000 words for a book. I didn’t achieve that goal. I didn’t come close. But, I also didn’t clearly break down what that would mean for my life and schedule.  This is essential for achieving your goals.  If you have a big goal, you need to break up the goal into small weekly wins.  How the goal will be accomplished is just as important as the goal you are trying to accomplish. If you don’t have an action plan attached to it, it won’t become a reality. I suggest having no more than five personal goals each year. Ideally, you should only have three. The more goals you create the less likely you will complete any of them. 

If you want to get your family involved, it can be fun to also create Marriage Goals, Family Goals and/or Financial Goals.

TEMPLATE:

LIFE + FAMILY PLAN.

YOUR LIFE VERSE: a verse that guides your life.

VALUES: What do we want your life to be known for? 

FOUNDATIONS:

What + Who are most important in life?

REPLENISHERS: What are the activities, people, places that give you life? 

PERSONAL GOALS. 2017

1.

2.

3.

OTHER OPTIONS   

MARRIAGE GOALS 2017

FAMILY GOALS 2017

FINANCIAL GOALS 2017

1. 

2. 

3.